When youβre first getting into cake decorating, itβs easy to be fooled into thinking you need a million special tools to create a professional looking cake.
Well STOP RIGHT THERE. Before you go rushing to Lakeland (the motherland), and break the bank on a turntable, airbrush and edible pigments, give this no tools Easter cake a whirl.
This super cute Easter cake is a great one to make with young sprogs because no special tools or skills are needed, what a win!
Now before you all start coming for me, I did use a piping bag (I know, the shame), but no nozzle and the same effect can be achieved by snipping off the end of a zip lock bag!
Before we get crackalackin, hereβs some nawti kitchen goss:
Kitchen Goss
A new month, a new obsession, this time itβs below deck. Sorry, how have I not discovered this gem of a tv show before now?!? Itβs everything I love – drama, relationships and boats – all rolled into one. #boatlover
The obsession has taken a new turn and Iβve now convinced myself that yachting needs to be in my life.
Yes, I was the worldβs worst waitress so the silver service of the stews might not be for me.
Yes, I have the upper body strength of a malnourished 12 year old so deckhand would also be a struggle.
Yes, I nearly drowned trying to surf in Scarborough so sea safety isnβt my forte.
But haters gonna hate, the ocean is my calling. See you on the waves #yachtie #seeyounextcharter #steworcrew ππ€π€ͺ
Anyway back to decoratingβ¦
Iβve made a short vid showing how to recreate this cake at home, but if you really love reading there are written instructions below!
Ingredients
Cake recipe of your choice (I did coffee because Iβm officially an adult and like the taste of coffee now)
Buttercream (enough to fill and ice the cake, and to make little chickies)
Piping bag/freezer bag/zip lock bag
mini eggs (I used a total of 6 small bags, but I rek like 2 big ones would be fine)
Sprinkles
Food colouring (yellow, black, orange)
Optional – cocktail sticks
Optional – gel icing pens (available in any supermarket)
fill between the layers of your cooled cakes, and crumb coat (put a thin layer of icing around the whole outside of your cake)
Chill in the fridge!!! This step is really important if you want a clean looking cake (need at least 30 mins I would say)
Get a decent blob of buttercream (but save some for the chicks) and spread over your chilled crumb coated cake, it doesnβt really need to be super neat because weβre going to cover it all up anyway so just whack it on!
Pop that back in the fridge to firm up
In the mean time start prepping your decor
Colour most of your remaining buttercream yellow
Plop into a piping bag (or freezer bag)
If you do the next step on greaseproof paper or tin foil it will make it easier:
Snip off the end and pipe a big blob, then a smaller blob on top to make your chicks
Freeze these for 5 mins – youβll then be able to pick them up and handle them much easier
Colour tiny amounts of buttercream black and orange, and use a cocktail stick to place these on the chick to form eyes and beak
TOP TIP – if you want to make this step easier, buying the gel icing pens from supermarkets are really useful for small details like this
Get your cake back out the fridge and chuck some mini eggs on
Cut out a small circle from paper and place on the cake
Fill the surround with sprinkles and push them in a bit so they donβt all fall off
Peel off your paper, and place your chickies in the centre
Nobody under the age of 65 actually likes Christmas cake, but itβs a tradition in our house to rustle one up every year. This was last yearβs crimbo cake – a cheeky little covid reindeer π At the time I thought this would make a fun ironic post for this year, but as Iβm sat in iso in my oodie and a Santa hat, the joke is well and truly on me π¦
Sad but still cute x
Kitchen goss
The real tragedy of the story is that Iβll have to wait to get my paws on the Christmas treats cupboard. Normally Iβm plumping up nicely for at least a week and a half before the big day. Honestly never craved a chipolata so much in my entire life.
If ANYONE at home opens the choccie wreath without me Iβm actually exiting the family. You have been warned.
Also bit of a side note but we went to Lapland when I was a kid to see our big man Mr Christmas and I swear we drank reindeer milk. I have been telling people this story and they look at me like Iβm really weird so please can someone from my family confirm if Iβve drank reindeer milk or if Iβm a big fat liar please. Xoxo
Anyway back to biz – if you want to find out how you can make your own limited edition omicron Rudolph, keep watchingβ¦
I donβt know what this jazzy crimbo backing song is but kind of love it
If you canβt stand to watch the vid with iMovieβs version of sleigh ride playing, then here are some written instructions
Fondant icing – I would just get 1 pack of white and colour a big blob brown, and smaller blobs black, red, light brown, blue and white
Food colouring if colouring your own
Toothpicks
Water/edible glue – you could use super glue but I wouldn’t recommend health wise x
Method
Make a big brown pointy blob
Stick a tooth pick in it and leave a bit of it poking out to hold the head later
Roll out a brown sosig
Chop in two
Make it look like a hoof and glue that on with your water
Before you do the arms make a little light brown oval for the belly
Repeat the sosig thing for the arms
Make another brown blob and use your finger to make a horizontal indentation which will form like the transition between nose and eyes
Red blob for nose (unless you want to make an ordinary reindeer)
White blobs squished for eyes, put black blobs on for the pupils
TOP TIP – to make the eyes look more realistic/cute put a tiny blob of white in the corner of the pupil
To make the antlers shove a stick of black fondant onto a cocktail stick and form little branches off the top
To make the mask roll out a bit of blue fondant, make little lines on it with the cocktail stick, then glue this on the face – make sure you CoVeR tHE NosE anD MouTH
Shove it all together
Bish bash bosh
Okay and thatβs the end of it. I know Iβve not posted in a while, Iβm an incredibly busy and popular person I simply cannot keep up x
Hope you all have a very merry crimbo (hopefully covid free).
Wash your hands, wear a mask, get your vaccine cya x x x
Being from manny (well not really but I say I am when Iβm on holiday) we love a good bee. So for my mumβs big bday bash I thought thereβd be nothing better than a bee themed honey cake!
Layers of honey cake, with honey cream cheese buttercream AND a honey butterscotch drip all topped off with lots of bee goodies. I may have gone overboard but I feel like too much is never enough – am I right or am I right?
Anyway on to the kitchen gossβ¦
Kitchen goss
I used to be a sick sledger back in the day, so at the start of the year I took the plunge and joined snowboarding society. In hindsight signing up for the January trip may have been a little optimistic, but COVID trashed those plans anyway (but probs saved me from a trip to mountain rescue.)
Didnβt get there, but did get a tshirt so whoβs the real winner? Gonna start trotting around uni repping this so everyone knows Iβm cool and sporty.
Cba just want to live my best chalet girl life and find a hunk to shred it on the snow with me (any semi good looking snowboarders send your applications in pls and thanks x)
#OOTD
Okay back to the cake, itβs a long one so get comfortable my lovesβ¦
225g unsalted butter (or salted if you want, go wild luv)
315g caster sugar
4 eggs
FOR THE CREAM CHEESE FROSTING
225g cream cheese
340g unsalted butter
80g honey
600g icing sugar (more if it needs thickening)
FOR THE GLAZE
65g caster sugar
75g honey
120ml double cream
1 tbsp butter
FOR THE DECOR
Fondant
Pearl/gold luster dusts
Yellow and black food colouring
Wire
White choccie
Bubble wrap
Method
Right Iβm gonna try and make this short because nobody wants to read a hefter recipe
CAKE BOARD
Roll out your fondant
Brush some water on to the cake board
Lay fondant over and cut off excess round the sides
Decorate with the hexagons and use a brush with gold luster dust to emphasise the hexagon boarders
HONEY SPONGE
Preheat the oven to 180C
mix the flour and baking powder in a bowl
In another bowl mix the buttermilk, honey and vanilla
In a 3rd bowl (lot of washing up I KNOW) beat your butter and sugar until pale and fluffy
Add the eggs one at a time
Gradually add wet and dry ingredients, starting and ending with the dry
Mix until combined
Grease some cake tins of your choice
Plop in your batter
Bake for 30mins ish or until they look golden and a toothpick comes out clean (crumbs are fine, wet batter is not)
let those bad bois cool
HONEY FROSTING
beat butter and cream cheese
Add icing sugar
Add honey
Beat until it looks like icing
HONEY GLAZE
Whack sugar and honey in a pan
Heat and stir until sugar has dissolved
Continue to cook without stirring (you can swirl the pan) until it turns golden brown
Remove from heat and stir in cream
Add butter and stir
Let cool completely
DECOR
FONDANT BEES:
Blob of yellow fondant
Lay on stripes of black fondant (gluing on with water)
Make eyes out of white and black blobs
Cut heart shapes out of paper and push them into the back of each bee to make wings
Curl wire by wrapping round a pencil, then stick one end in each bee (you can round each end to make them more secure inside each bee)
Leave to dry
CHOCCIE HONEYCOMB:
melt some white choccie
Smooth over bubble wrap (make sure youβre using the bubble side otherwise you wonβt get the indentations!)
Make sure you put a thick layer on otherwise itβll just break (I like to do it thick enough so you canβt see the bubble wrap underneath the choccie)
Leave to set
Then break into pieces
Brush with luster dust for extra pazazz
FONDANT HEXAGONS
roll out different shades of yellow fondant
Cut out with hexagon cutter (I used the same size for this)
Brush with luster if you wanna
ASSEMBLY
cake with frosting in between layers
Leave this to set in the fridge before you try and ice the outside
Then plop frosting on the outside and smooth
Again SET
Add glaze
Set
Put on cake board
Add all your extras
Reward yourself for all your hard work with a massive slice x
Wowee ok that was so long, well done if youβve made it to the end of that
Right Iβm exhausted after all that so Iβm gonna head off.
Well that was a mouthful and a half wasn’t it. Talking about mouthfuls, get your laughing gear around this guilt free cheesecake…
Okay the squirty cream and oreos don’t count in the low cal part you caught me – but it is MOSTLY healthy, and the oreos are mini so they basically don’t count.
The magic ingredient in these bad boys is quark. The name makes it sound revolting, but it is actually a high protein, low fat soft cheese and the slimming world peeps are all over it like a rash.
If you’re wanting to cut the cals on any creamy dish – quark is your boy.
Kitchen Goss
Ok not to be dramatic but I think my new uni house might be haunted. Now I know I’m a bit of a drama queen, but some little rascal keeps turning the tv on at night when nobody is downstairs and my stress levels are through the roof. The only logical answer is that we have a channel4 loving goblin living with us.
*UPDATE* we figured out the TV was on timer lol, panic over everyone. We do have a scary basement tho so a ghost seemed like a likely option at the time. #notclickbait
low cal biccies e.g. rich tea lights (ok confession time I used some fibre one bars in the bottom of mine, would NOT recommend doing this unless you want to break your chompers. Chewy central)
1-2 tsp low calorie butter spread
250g fat free quark
1 options white chocolate sachet
1 options milk chocolate sachet (add another sachet if you want it choco choco)
squirty cream and oreo minis if your diet has gone out the window
Method – makes 3 cheesecakes
smush up your biccies (I would use 2 biccies per cheesecake) and add the butter to bind it
chuck that in your vessel of choice – glasses work well for this so you can see all the layers of lurv
split your quark into two bowls
add the white choc sachet to one bowl
add the milk choc sachet to the other
mixy mixy
plop nicely on top of the biccies in layers – or mix it all together if you are a sicko
chuck in the fridge overnight to get nice n firm
decorate with loads of calories
the end
Hope you enjoyed this short but sweet one, as always check out my insta @the_soggy_bottom for more exclusive content.
Any suggestions for recipes you want to see comment them below!!
Not a paid partnership with mini eggs – I bloody wish it was π¦ Someone sponsor me pls I need some free samples to wrap up for Christmas prezzies.
These cookies are pretty delectable, and plus they’re a right CHONK so you won’t need to eat for the next 3-5 working days. Perfect for being stranded in the wilderness #beargrylls #isfit #youcan #explore #mywilderness #anytime
Right dunno what else to say atm except make the cookies they’re peng, here’s this week’s KG
Kitchen Goss
Been doing a big house clear out because I am so bored it has driven me to actually tidy up. Turns out I was a sucker for a self portrait back in the early 00s, being the Picasso that I am, they are scarily accurate.
Choose your warrior:
1) Wiggy McPigster: dead trim, yellow teeth and a 50cm head that will knock you out straight. Luscious lashes, gorgeous smile.
2) Tangerine Dream: what in the sunbed?!? voldemort nose, edgy girl willy wonka fringe. Smiling = forbidden. Eyebrows = on fleek (I’m going to bring that word back)
Also not to get all cringe but I found this cute pic of what I wanted to be when I grew up – mum I made it I’m gonna be a DAcToR x
Right enough now, get your mini eggs out and stop faffing around
I know what you’re thinking – Han doing a low calorie dessert?!?! It was hard for me to believe too – the transition from blue milk to green was tough enough, but now I am fully embracing the healthy lifestyle (minus my chicken selects cravings once a week). The fact I would get hunted down by my mum’s slimming world group if I so dared to serve a full fat dessert was also weighing heavy on my mind (pardon the pun) #synner.
I come from a family of big Greggs fans (my sister even calling her sausage dog Gregg after their famous sausage roll), so people who don’t love a cheeky pastry treat give out major alarm bells.
the rat
With this recipe you can chef up your very own Greggs delight in your jimjams and dressing gown without even having to leave the house!
Because I’m a bit much I made my own puff pastry for this (recipe will be uploaded soonish), but if you want you can just to buy some to get the quick Greggs fix – I’ll allow it.
I didn’t get v good pics of them, but they were actually well nice so would recommend giving this one a go (if I do say so myself)
Kitchen Goss
It’s official, I’m down with the kidz. Yep, I have been sucked into the TikTok pit and my screen time is majorly suffering now. I actually feel like such a nan trying to work it, this vid took me no word of a lie HOURS to make and I was cringing myself out with the voice over, so no hate please.
Pls can someone who is a TikTok expert give me some coaching because I need to make it to the Hype House (is this even a thing anymore I can’t keep up?!?!?) Give us a cheeky follow @kitchen_goss to see some more incredible content, or alternatively just wait until I pop up on your fyp when I’m too famous 4 u x
1 tsp cream cheese (or more if you want it extra creamy)
a glug of double cream
salt and pepper to season
puff pastry (bought or made if you’re *extra*)
1 egg
Method – made 3 large and in charge chicken bakes
chippety chop your chicken breast into small chonkz and cook until golden
add in the chicken stock, cornflour water thing, and the cream cheese
glug in your cream
season as you like and leave to cool
roll out your pastry and cut into Greggs sized rectangles
add your chicken sludge in the centre of one of the rectangles
Egg wash the edges of the pastry and add another rectangle of pastry on top
crimp it down with a fork
cut wavy lines in the top (this is the classic Greggs chicken bake sign, if you do anything else you’re wrong grr)
egg wash the top to make it golden n gorg
whack in the oven for 15-20 mins or until the little lovelies are golden brown and smelling delish
scran
And that’s all for today my little nuggets, sorry I’ve not been posting much lately, would like to say I’ve been doing work but I’ve just been on TikTok.
Everyone likes cookies, everyone likes crinkles, and my housemate Issy likes gluten free things so she doesn’t have explosive diarrhoea, so these bad boys were a solid hit all round.
They aren’t your typical chewy cookie, or a snap biccie, so if that’s what you’re craving, leave now. These little norts are crispy on the outside and fudgey in the middle (more brownie sort of vibes) and they are absolutely deeeeeeeeelish.
I was always one to stay away from gluten free baking because I thought they always tasted a bit bob, but honestly these have converted me. Buckle up for an influx of gluten free bakes coming your way everyone.
Before we get crinkling, here this week’s KG
Kitchen Goss
New week, new lockdown craze (I need to stop doing this and actually stick to something hehe.) In some moment of madness I decided to start couch to 5k, taking me from couch potato to a steamy jacket potato with cheesy beans. You get to choose your motivating voice and I have really got attached to Michael Johnson, I feel like we have such a connection when he tells me I’m doing great for running for 60secs. I’ve completed the first week – shocker I know – so keep your eyes peeled for me trotting round Hyde Park. Fitness isn’t just for Christmas, it’s for life x
1/4 tsp xanthan gum (this is used in a lot of gluten free bakes to make it all stick together, available at most supermarkets!)
1sp gluten free baking powder
50g icing sugar
Method
line a couple of baking trays ready for your little delights
mix together cocoa, oil and caster sugar until a thick paste
add the eggs one at a time and give that a good beating
add in flour, xanthan gum and baking powder and mix until a nice soft dough magically appears (for reference it shouldn’t be a rolling out dough sort of consistency, but more of a thick goo)
pop that in the fridge for an hour and grab yourself a cuppa (or a gin) to celebrate the hard work
after an hour whack your oven on 170C (or just guess if you have a raw flame in your oven like me)
pop your icing sugar into a separate bowl
take clumps of dough (about 45g of dough each) and roll into a ball
then roll that ball in your icing sugar and place on your prepped lined trays
once all the balls are powdered π bake for about 10-12 mins and you should have a lovely cracked surface (if you want yours less fudgey then bake for a couple mins longer!)
enjoy with a glass of cold milk (blue milk for the win)
And that’s all for today my angels, I hope you all have a fabulous week. Keep smiling, lots of luv, KG (Han) x x x
Yes they are as cheeky as they sound. If you’re at slimming world then close your eyes, cos these bad boys are SINFUL.
Cookie + jaffa cakes + brownie + Terry’s chocolate orange = a lot of layers, a lot of fun.
Everybody loves a classique brownie, but honestly these are just on another level. If you still need more convincing, here’s some feedback from my scavenger housemates who polished off the entire tray within 24hours.
A bit greasy and a massive flake, but we always go back for more – the croissant is the F-boy of the pastry world.
Making croissants is definitely a labour of luv so if you’re looking for a quick sweet fix, this is not the one for you. If however, you have a spare couple of days and want to make some DELISH pastry morsels then keep reading…
I made these little lovelies as part of the BreadAhead online tutorial. It was so much fun, learned a lot and would highly recommend if you want something different to do in lockdown – they have a massive range of tutorials it’s not just croissants! (BreadAhead pls sponsor me)
Before we get into it, here’s this week’s KG:
Kitchen Goss
Another week, another new hobby. That’s right, I’m officially a yogi. Leeds Yoga society are running daily classes online so you can try out different types of yoga and embarrass yourself on zoom whilst doing it. Yin yoga is the top runner for me, it involves pillows and blankets – enough said really.
My current fave pose: Shavasana (corpse pose). You just lie still on the floor – bliss. I have not mastered any more advanced poses yet, but give me a few weeks and I’ll be one of those ripped, tanned girls doing yoga on the beach for my youtube channel. Like and subscribe xoxo
Back to biz
Ingredients
DAY 1
500g strong white flour (white bread flour)
12g salt
55g caster sugar
40g unsalted butter
15g dried yeast
140ml cold water
140ml whole milk
DAY 2
250g cold unsalted butter
1 egg
Method
DAY 1
Pop flour, salt, sugar and dried yeast in a bowl and combine
make a well in the centre
Add in the milk and water and mix together until a dough forms
TOP TIP: you can smush it a bit to incorporate all the dry ingredients in but do not knead it!!! This will overwork the dough and make the folding tomorrow very hard.
Cover the bowl with cling film and whack it in the fridge for 8-12 hours (or overnight)
DAY 2
Take your dough out the fridge
Using your knuckles smush it into a rough square shape
With a rolling pin roll out each of the corners, leaving a raised square centre and 4 thin flaps/corners
get your butter out of the fridge
Bash it out with a rolling pin until it is a similar size to the raised dough square
Place your butter sheet on top of the raised dough square
Pull the bottom flap of dough to completely cover the butter
Pull the top flap of dough 80% over
Pull the side flaps across to the middle
What we have basically done here is wrap up our butter in the dough like wrapping up a parcel
with the seam running in the middle (the line where the side flaps meet) use your rolling pin to push down and create ridges in the dough (this makes it easier to roll)
Then roll out until a long rectangular shape (about 1/2 a rolling pin wide and 1 1/2 rolling pins long)
Fold the top of the dough over 2/3rds
Fold the remaining flap of dough over that (so you have a square of dough that is 3 layers thick)
Seam on the LEFT
This is called a fold! For croissants we will do 3 folds in total
TOP TIP: after the first fold keep the seam on the LEFT, this keeps all your folds in the same direction to give you nice layers
With the seam on the left, roll out your dough into a long rectangle again
Fold as you did before (top over 2/3rds, remaining flap on top of that so you have a 3 layered square ish shape)
Cover in cling film and put in the fridge to chillax for 1 hour (or more)
Once suitably relaxed, get it out and you guessed it roll into a long rectangle (remember seam on the left!!)
Fold as you did before – this is the 3rd and final fold!!! Nearly there now
cover again and put in the fridge to chill out for 3 hours (or more)
take the dough out, this time with the seam running HORIZONTALLY roll out until it is about 5mm thick
Cut triangles out of the dough (use 4 finger widths to keep them equal)
Mind the tootsies oops x
Stretch each triangle out by holding it up and running your other hand gently down it
Cut a small slit at the base of the triangle
Roll up from the base of the triangle until it forms a little croissant shape
Beat your egg and brush on top to make a nice golden glaze
Leave the croissants to rise in a warm place for 2 hours
Preheat your oven to 190C and (finally) whack in your croissants for 15 mins until nice and crispy
Get them out and scoff them all – it will be worth all the hard work I promise!
You made it to the end of that VERY long recipe, give yourself a pat on the back.
Thanks again everyone for all your continued support, comment any recipes you want to see next!