Since nobody has been able to jet off to Benidorm or any other exotic location this year, it’s time to bring the sun to us with this tropical traybake.
This orange and passionfruit cake will provide the sunny vibes, but if you really want to recreate the ‘Brit on holiday’ experience, then you’ll also need to do the following:
wear a ridiculous tropical shirt (bonus points if it matches with the rest of your travel companions)
get up at the crack of dawn to ‘save the sunbeds’
burn to a crisp on the first day
say it’s boiling at least 17 times a day
learn how to say hello in the local language, then proceed to speak English
Before we get into the nitty gritty of the recipe, here is this week’s (very embarrassing) kitchen goss
I can’t quite believe I’m exposing myself this much on KG, but this is too funny not to share.
So I recently rediscovered this voice memo I made in 2018 when I was revising for my chemistry A-level. I must’ve seen a pinterest thing on creative ways to revise or something, because something unholy possessed me to make a song about electrophilic addition.
Yes it’s to the tune of ‘These Words’ by Natasha Bedingfield
Yes it took me all day to write (and I couldn’t even make it rhyme)
Yes the full version of ‘Mechanisms Mix *flame*’ is available on soundcloud
I can’t bring myself to listen to the full thing, and safe to say I will never be doing that again.
Back to the bake…
FOR THE CAKE
225g caster sugar
225g self raising flour
1 orange – zested n juiced
1tsp vanilla extract
FOR THE ICING
300g icing sugar
3tbsp passionfruit curd (or adjust to your taste)
1tsp vanilla extract
gel food colourings
whack your butter and shug in a bowl and beat until light and fluffy
add eggos one at a time
fold in flour, orange zest, vanilla and 3/4 of your orange juice (save the remaining quarter for icing time)
Whack this in whichever tray tickles your pickle, make sure to grease and line it
bake for 20-25 mins at 180C (or if your oven doesn’t have numbers on it like mine, then just take it out when it looks golden and a knife comes out clean when you poke it in)
Whilst that’s cooling you can crack on with the icing
whip up the butter and icing sugar
add the orange juice and passionfruit curd to your taste (it can be quite zingy)
if you want to decorate with painted buttercream flowers then split icing into bowls and add colourings of your choice (gel food colourings work best here)
once the cake is cool, remove from the tin and spread over a base layer of icing
Let this set up in the fridge – very important step otherwise going to be difficult to add more buttercream on top!
once harder to the touch, get the cake out and get creative
I ‘painted’ flowers onto mine, which is a technique I’ve been wanting to try out for ages, but go with whatever you feel looks fun n fresh
If you’re interested in how I decorated my traybake, then take a look at this very speedy vid below.
These truffles contain only 3 ingredients: live, laugh and love *monkey emoji*. Only messin it’s actually oreos, cream cheese and choccie, and they are soooo quick to make and even quicker scoff.
I decided to make mine into little pandas, not really sure why, I just got the urge, but you can decorate with whatever tickles your pickle.
Fun fact about pandas, they poo on average 40 times a day!!! Their pipes must be clean as a whistle, wish I could say the same, my iron tablets are clogging me up like no tomorrow. 😦
Before we get crackalackin, here’s this week’s KG:
First of all, I hope you all approve of my new identity. It was a sad day changing from BTB but I think it was a strategic career move from me.
Secondly, it’s another lockdown which means more questionable online purchases. Last night’s deal was a posture corrector in a desperate attempt to solve my Quasimodo back. It’s like a full on back brace, but nothing I can’t pull off. Will keep you all updated with the results, if I’m not a model in a month I’m going to be FUMIN.
Ok recipe time…
160g full fat cream cheese
optional – 1 tbsp icing sugar
200g white choc, 100g dark choc
Method – makes 10 golf ball sized truffles, triple the recipe if you live with Vic Fletcher
Choose your weapon to crush the oreos e.g. blender, rolling pin
make sure they’re finely crushed, you don’t want bitty truffles
plop your cream cheese into the crushed biccies and stir
I like to sweeten mine a bit more with 1 tbsp icing sugar but if you’re not addicted to sugar like me then you can skip this bit
form into balls – size is up to you, I made mine golf ball sized
place on a tray lined with baking paper/tin foil
pop in the freezer for 15 mins
whilst they’re chillaxin, get melting your choccie
take the chilled ballz out and coat in the choccie, I use a fork to get them out so some of the choc can drip off
top tip – if you’re coating in the white choc I would melt your choccie in batches because it can get a bit dirty from the oreo balls, so just melt enough to coat 1 or 2 truffles at a time!
if you’re a bit random and also want to make them into pandas, I did the face with white and dark choc and just used a cocktail stick to draw it on, and carved the ears out of an oreo using a knife (or you can just nibble it into shape)
if you don’t pandas then let your creative juices flow and decorate any way you like!
Isomalt is a sugar alcohol (not the kind you can get sloshed on though 😦 ) and when it cools it sets like hard candy – perfect for sugar art. It can be blown into little bubbles, made into delicate flowers, or in this case, slopped around to make a splash.
Before we begin, here’s the KG.
The one accessory which should feature in every fashionista’s wardrobe: Primark’s Disney dog outfit range.
If you have a below average sized head and want to stand out from the crowd, then the small dog costumes will be right up your street. Slip into one of these and everyone will want to PET THAT DAWG.
Of course the stitch costume was whipped out after an incredibly *classy* bottomless brunch with my sistaz. The real question is though, who wore it better – me, Melis or the rat (Gregg)????
Anyway, moving on. I’ve made a cheeky vid for you all instead of just a written recipe – keepin up with the tech for kids these days. Pls enjoy.
isomalt (ready tempered, clear, just get on amazon)
gel food colouring
silicone mat (this is needed)
bottle of some kind
Pop a few isomalt balls in a heatproof bowl
chuck in the microwave and blast in 30second intervals until bubbling
be really careful because it is literal molten sugar and can say from experience it hurts if you touch it
add in any colouring you want at this point
you might have to blast in the microwave again to get really hot (it sets up super quick so you have to move fast)
pour your bubbling isomalt onto your silicone mat
start to tip the mat to spread it around
when the isomalt has cooled slightly on the mat (30 secs) lay the mat over a bottle and hold in the desired shape
wait a couple of minutes until the isomalt has set hard
carefully remove the bottle and peel off the silicone mat – take your time you don’t want to crack your masterpiece
and that’s it!!! Pop it on top of your cake, sit back n chillax
And that’s everything my lovelies. Posts may be on the slow side for a while because my oven at uni is a genuine candle but I’ll see what I can rustle up.
We’re taking it back to my baking roots – the birthday cake. When I had first properly got into baking about age 12, the fondant bday cake was my stomping ground. Now, fondant isn’t what all the trendy kids want (youths these days grrr), so instead we move over to buttercream cakes – tastier, but harder to make look semi-decent.
This is one of my first buttercream cakes and went a bit off the rails with it. Feelin like one of those edgy art people and off to get a very short fringe cut to fit my new persona. Honestly, just call me Bob Ross x
Before we move on, here’s this week’s KG…
I’m back in L town after TOO long. My cave is finally decorated (yes the nawti Mary Berry poster has made a return.) Despite all odds, my houseplants have survived their first week (hello Miss Greenfingers). I won’t do my washing until I have 1 sock and an age 12-13 T-shirt left. My housemates don’t hate me yet – give it another week girls 😉 and my diet has gone back to exclusively sour skittles and spag bol. IT’S. GOOD. TO. BE. BACK.
For the sponge:
340g caster sugar
340g self-raising flour
zest of 3 lemons
For the lemon syrup:
85g caster sugar
juice from 1 1/2 lemons
For the buttercream:
3 tbsps lemon curd
swiss meringue buttercream or Italian meringue buttercream (basic recipe link here, you will need 2 or 3x this recipe:)
We all love a naughty bit of lemon driz, and this recipe from my queen – Mazza Bazza – is absolutely spectacular.
I was trying out my new loaf tin for this bad boi (yes it was another B&M purchase before you ask) and now I think I’ve spiralled into a slightly worrying tin obsession. What will be next?!? Classic bundt tin, or maybe a fun willy shaped one??? Who knows x
Before we get into the citrussy goodness, time for some juicy kitchen goss…
6 years ago, the entire nation was busy filming themselves being drenched in iced water. Sometimes you’d stumble across a gem – ones where people’s tops fell down or they slipped – but most were just like mine: uncomfortable to watch.
Here I am, aged 14, sporting my Ed Sheeran T-shirt (my first concert which I attended with my dad.) Jeans cutting off circulation to my legs, alarmingly large eyebags. Is that a festival wristband you see? Oh no sir, that is a wristband from guide camp. The bun and full fringe, a strong and iconic look that I am SURE will make a come back very shortly. I was cool x
This vid may be cringe, but the ice bucket challenge did help to raise lots of monies for a great cause and is providing quality entertainment 6 years on, so we allow it x
Now I’m not normally a bread baker (mainly because you can’t gobble the mix as you go along) but this dough was superrrrr easy to make and actually turned out crispy n delish.
Before we get into the crumby biz, here’s this week’s kitchen goss…
Note to self: NEVER go on a first date to the beach. We were having the time of our lives splish splashing around in Newcastle when Vic’s GoPro captured some horrific/hilarious pics that have honestly made my self esteem PLUMMET.
Pictured: 2 girls, one looks scarily like Paul Chuckle, the other just looks bad.
Action shot ❤ Caitlin, the goggles are a look x
Wig slip x
Overall, I think everyone on the beach got second hand embarrassment from us, but we had a mint time (minus thinking I had frost bite because my toes went purple.) Can’t wait for next year, love you two weirdos so much xxx
Anyway enough of that, are you bready for action? Sorry I’ll stop now, that was really bad.
You saucyyyyy minx. *Said in dirty Northern accent*
As my closest homies will know, my fave EVER dessert is a classic sticky toffee pudding. But when the craving hits, there’s just no time to scurry out to get dates or slave over making a toffee sauce. This is where this self-saucing pud saves the day.
It’s pretty snazzy, the sauce is poured over the cake batter and everything gets banged in the oven. 30 mins later and the cake has magically swapped places with the toffee sauce. It is genuine witchcraft.
Before we get crackalackin, here is the KG:
Today is a very very special day. After 4 long weeks my homebrew is FINALLY ready for a naughty sample. Like all good craft beers, I needed an edgy name for my little baby.
Rochdale Rat P*ss seemed fitting. Genuinely would rather have a plague-riddled rat from the Dale tinkle in my mouth than drink this.
We’re all familiar with the sheer trickery of a raisin pretending to be a ‘chocolate chip’. It can leave you feeling hurt and embarrassed, and then you’ve got to choke down the rest of the raisin fraudster.
Not to worry, there are absolutely no raisins in these bad boys – we’re safe.