Posted in Other Treats

Low-Calorie cookies and cream cheesecake

Well that was a mouthful and a half wasn’t it. Talking about mouthfuls, get your laughing gear around this guilt free cheesecake…

Okay the squirty cream and oreos don’t count in the low cal part you caught me – but it is MOSTLY healthy, and the oreos are mini so they basically don’t count.

The magic ingredient in these bad boys is quark. The name makes it sound revolting, but it is actually a high protein, low fat soft cheese and the slimming world peeps are all over it like a rash.

If you’re wanting to cut the cals on any creamy dish – quark is your boy.

Kitchen Goss

Ok not to be dramatic but I think my new uni house might be haunted. Now I know I’m a bit of a drama queen, but some little rascal keeps turning the tv on at night when nobody is downstairs and my stress levels are through the roof. The only logical answer is that we have a channel4 loving goblin living with us.

*UPDATE* we figured out the TV was on timer lol, panic over everyone. We do have a scary basement tho so a ghost seemed like a likely option at the time. #notclickbait

Anyway back to the little lovelies…

Recipe inspired and adapted from https://www.slimmingeats.com/blog/chocolate-cheesecake

Ingredients

  • low cal biccies e.g. rich tea lights (ok confession time I used some fibre one bars in the bottom of mine, would NOT recommend doing this unless you want to break your chompers. Chewy central)
  • 1-2 tsp low calorie butter spread
  • 250g fat free quark
  • 1 options white chocolate sachet
  • 1 options milk chocolate sachet (add another sachet if you want it choco choco)
  • squirty cream and oreo minis if your diet has gone out the window

Method – makes 3 cheesecakes

  • smush up your biccies (I would use 2 biccies per cheesecake) and add the butter to bind it
  • chuck that in your vessel of choice – glasses work well for this so you can see all the layers of lurv
  • split your quark into two bowls
  • add the white choc sachet to one bowl
  • add the milk choc sachet to the other
  • mixy mixy
  • plop nicely on top of the biccies in layers – or mix it all together if you are a sicko
  • chuck in the fridge overnight to get nice n firm
  • decorate with loads of calories
  • the end

Hope you enjoyed this short but sweet one, as always check out my insta @the_soggy_bottom for more exclusive content.

Any suggestions for recipes you want to see comment them below!!

Luvs ya lots ta-ra my loves, Han xxx

Posted in Other Treats

Low fat Eton Mess

I know what you’re thinking – Han doing a low calorie dessert?!?! It was hard for me to believe too – the transition from blue milk to green was tough enough, but now I am fully embracing the healthy lifestyle (minus my chicken selects cravings once a week). The fact I would get hunted down by my mum’s slimming world group if I so dared to serve a full fat dessert was also weighing heavy on my mind (pardon the pun) #synner.

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Posted in Cakes, Other Treats

Chocolate Orange Slutty Brownies

Yes they are as cheeky as they sound. If you’re at slimming world then close your eyes, cos these bad boys are SINFUL.

Cookie + jaffa cakes + brownie + Terry’s chocolate orange = a lot of layers, a lot of fun.

Everybody loves a classique brownie, but honestly these are just on another level. If you still need more convincing, here’s some feedback from my scavenger housemates who polished off the entire tray within 24hours.

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Posted in Other Treats

Croissants

A bit greasy and a massive flake, but we always go back for more – the croissant is the F-boy of the pastry world.

Making croissants is definitely a labour of luv so if you’re looking for a quick sweet fix, this is not the one for you. If however, you have a spare couple of days and want to make some DELISH pastry morsels then keep reading…

I made these little lovelies as part of the BreadAhead online tutorial. It was so much fun, learned a lot and would highly recommend if you want something different to do in lockdown – they have a massive range of tutorials it’s not just croissants! (BreadAhead pls sponsor me)

Before we get into it, here’s this week’s KG:

Kitchen Goss

Another week, another new hobby. That’s right, I’m officially a yogi. Leeds Yoga society are running daily classes online so you can try out different types of yoga and embarrass yourself on zoom whilst doing it. Yin yoga is the top runner for me, it involves pillows and blankets – enough said really.

My current fave pose: Shavasana (corpse pose). You just lie still on the floor – bliss. I have not mastered any more advanced poses yet, but give me a few weeks and I’ll be one of those ripped, tanned girls doing yoga on the beach for my youtube channel. Like and subscribe xoxo

Back to biz

Ingredients

  • DAY 1
  • 500g strong white flour (white bread flour)
  • 12g salt
  • 55g caster sugar
  • 40g unsalted butter
  • 15g dried yeast
  • 140ml cold water
  • 140ml whole milk
  • DAY 2
  • 250g cold unsalted butter
  • 1 egg

Method

  • DAY 1
  • Pop flour, salt, sugar and dried yeast in a bowl and combine
  • make a well in the centre
  • Add in the milk and water and mix together until a dough forms
  • TOP TIP: you can smush it a bit to incorporate all the dry ingredients in but do not knead it!!! This will overwork the dough and make the folding tomorrow very hard.
  • Cover the bowl with cling film and whack it in the fridge for 8-12 hours (or overnight)
  • DAY 2
  • Take your dough out the fridge
  • Using your knuckles smush it into a rough square shape
  • With a rolling pin roll out each of the corners, leaving a raised square centre and 4 thin flaps/corners
  • get your butter out of the fridge
  • Bash it out with a rolling pin until it is a similar size to the raised dough square
  • Place your butter sheet on top of the raised dough square
  • Pull the bottom flap of dough to completely cover the butter
  • Pull the top flap of dough 80% over
  • Pull the side flaps across to the middle
  • What we have basically done here is wrap up our butter in the dough like wrapping up a parcel
  • with the seam running in the middle (the line where the side flaps meet) use your rolling pin to push down and create ridges in the dough (this makes it easier to roll)
  • Then roll out until a long rectangular shape (about 1/2 a rolling pin wide and 1 1/2 rolling pins long)
  • Fold the top of the dough over 2/3rds
  • Fold the remaining flap of dough over that (so you have a square of dough that is 3 layers thick)
Seam on the LEFT
  • This is called a fold! For croissants we will do 3 folds in total
  • TOP TIP: after the first fold keep the seam on the LEFT, this keeps all your folds in the same direction to give you nice layers
  • With the seam on the left, roll out your dough into a long rectangle again
  • Fold as you did before (top over 2/3rds, remaining flap on top of that so you have a 3 layered square ish shape)
  • Cover in cling film and put in the fridge to chillax for 1 hour (or more)
  • Once suitably relaxed, get it out and you guessed it roll into a long rectangle (remember seam on the left!!)
  • Fold as you did before – this is the 3rd and final fold!!! Nearly there now
  • cover again and put in the fridge to chill out for 3 hours (or more)
  • take the dough out, this time with the seam running HORIZONTALLY roll out until it is about 5mm thick
  • Cut triangles out of the dough (use 4 finger widths to keep them equal)
Mind the tootsies oops x
  • Stretch each triangle out by holding it up and running your other hand gently down it
  • Cut a small slit at the base of the triangle
  • Roll up from the base of the triangle until it forms a little croissant shape
  • Beat your egg and brush on top to make a nice golden glaze
  • Leave the croissants to rise in a warm place for 2 hours
  • Preheat your oven to 190C and (finally) whack in your croissants for 15 mins until nice and crispy
  • Get them out and scoff them all – it will be worth all the hard work I promise!

You made it to the end of that VERY long recipe, give yourself a pat on the back.

Thanks again everyone for all your continued support, comment any recipes you want to see next!

Lots of love, your fave Han, KG x x x

Posted in Other Treats

Oreo Truffles

These truffles contain only 3 ingredients: live, laugh and love *monkey emoji*. Only messin it’s actually oreos, cream cheese and choccie, and they are soooo quick to make and even quicker scoff.

I decided to make mine into little pandas, not really sure why, I just got the urge, but you can decorate with whatever tickles your pickle.

Fun fact about pandas, they poo on average 40 times a day!!! Their pipes must be clean as a whistle, wish I could say the same, my iron tablets are clogging me up like no tomorrow. 😦

Before we get crackalackin, here’s this week’s KG:

Kitchen Goss

First of all, I hope you all approve of my new identity. It was a sad day changing from BTB but I think it was a strategic career move from me.

Secondly, it’s another lockdown which means more questionable online purchases. Last night’s deal was a posture corrector in a desperate attempt to solve my Quasimodo back. It’s like a full on back brace, but nothing I can’t pull off. Will keep you all updated with the results, if I’m not a model in a month I’m going to be FUMIN.

Ok recipe time…

Ingredients

  • 24 oreos
  • 160g full fat cream cheese
  • optional – 1 tbsp icing sugar
  • 200g white choc, 100g dark choc

Method – makes 10 golf ball sized truffles, triple the recipe if you live with Vic Fletcher

  • Choose your weapon to crush the oreos e.g. blender, rolling pin
  • make sure they’re finely crushed, you don’t want bitty truffles
  • plop your cream cheese into the crushed biccies and stir
  • I like to sweeten mine a bit more with 1 tbsp icing sugar but if you’re not addicted to sugar like me then you can skip this bit
  • form into balls – size is up to you, I made mine golf ball sized
  • place on a tray lined with baking paper/tin foil
  • pop in the freezer for 15 mins
  • whilst they’re chillaxin, get melting your choccie
  • take the chilled ballz out and coat in the choccie, I use a fork to get them out so some of the choc can drip off
  • top tip – if you’re coating in the white choc I would melt your choccie in batches because it can get a bit dirty from the oreo balls, so just melt enough to coat 1 or 2 truffles at a time!
  • if you’re a bit random and also want to make them into pandas, I did the face with white and dark choc and just used a cocktail stick to draw it on, and carved the ears out of an oreo using a knife (or you can just nibble it into shape)
  • if you don’t pandas then let your creative juices flow and decorate any way you like!
  • let them set up a bit more in the fridge
  • eat

Recipe inspired by Cooking Classy – recipe here Oreo Balls Oreo Truffles – Cooking Classy

And that’s it for today. Soz I’ve not done a blog in SO long, new year’s resolution is to write more so keep your little eyes peeled!

Hope you all have a fabby week

Lots of luv, Han, KG xxx

Posted in Other Treats

Flapjacks

Before you panic, they’re choccie chips not raisins – I’m not a sicko.

Flapjacks are such an underrated sweet treat, and they are sooo easy to make. Plus, if you’re feeling generous, they are very easily packaged up and delivered to friends, neighbours or randomers during quarantine. Obviously I didn’t do that lol, me and my family demolished them before I had the chance, but if you had a bigger heart and a smaller stomach than me, you could x

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Posted in Other Treats

Berry Trifle

What do you call a gun with 3 barrels? A trifle. HA. Ok I’ll stop now.

Now I like to think of trifle as a massive, sweet, calorie-filled lasagne, and everyone likes lasagne. What makes this Timperley Trifle timp-ly the best is that nothing has to be made from scratch – so you just layer all your favourite goodies and call it a day, ideal.

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