Not a paid partnership with mini eggs – I bloody wish it was 😦 Someone sponsor me pls I need some free samples to wrap up for Christmas prezzies.
These cookies are pretty delectable, and plus they’re a right CHONK so you won’t need to eat for the next 3-5 working days. Perfect for being stranded in the wilderness #beargrylls #isfit #youcan #explore #mywilderness #anytime
Right dunno what else to say atm except make the cookies they’re peng, here’s this week’s KG
Been doing a big house clear out because I am so bored it has driven me to actually tidy up. Turns out I was a sucker for a self portrait back in the early 00s, being the Picasso that I am, they are scarily accurate.
Choose your warrior:
1) Wiggy McPigster: dead trim, yellow teeth and a 50cm head that will knock you out straight. Luscious lashes, gorgeous smile.
2) Tangerine Dream: what in the sunbed?!? voldemort nose, edgy girl willy wonka fringe. Smiling = forbidden. Eyebrows = on fleek (I’m going to bring that word back)
Also not to get all cringe but I found this cute pic of what I wanted to be when I grew up – mum I made it I’m gonna be a DAcToR x
Right enough now, get your mini eggs out and stop faffing around
I come from a family of big Greggs fans (my sister even calling her sausage dog Gregg after their famous sausage roll), so people who don’t love a cheeky pastry treat give out major alarm bells.
With this recipe you can chef up your very own Greggs delight in your jimjams and dressing gown without even having to leave the house!
Because I’m a bit much I made my own puff pastry for this (recipe will be uploaded soonish), but if you want you can just to buy some to get the quick Greggs fix – I’ll allow it.
I didn’t get v good pics of them, but they were actually well nice so would recommend giving this one a go (if I do say so myself)
It’s official, I’m down with the kidz. Yep, I have been sucked into the TikTok pit and my screen time is majorly suffering now. I actually feel like such a nan trying to work it, this vid took me no word of a lie HOURS to make and I was cringing myself out with the voice over, so no hate please.
Pls can someone who is a TikTok expert give me some coaching because I need to make it to the Hype House (is this even a thing anymore I can’t keep up?!?!?) Give us a cheeky follow @kitchen_goss to see some more incredible content, or alternatively just wait until I pop up on your fyp when I’m too famous 4 u x
Yes they are as cheeky as they sound. If you’re at slimming world then close your eyes, cos these bad boys are SINFUL.
Cookie + jaffa cakes + brownie + Terry’s chocolate orange = a lot of layers, a lot of fun.
Everybody loves a classique brownie, but honestly these are just on another level. If you still need more convincing, here’s some feedback from my scavenger housemates who polished off the entire tray within 24hours.
A bit greasy and a massive flake, but we always go back for more – the croissant is the F-boy of the pastry world.
Making croissants is definitely a labour of luv so if you’re looking for a quick sweet fix, this is not the one for you. If however, you have a spare couple of days and want to make some DELISH pastry morsels then keep reading…
I made these little lovelies as part of the BreadAhead online tutorial. It was so much fun, learned a lot and would highly recommend if you want something different to do in lockdown – they have a massive range of tutorials it’s not just croissants! (BreadAhead pls sponsor me)
Before we get into it, here’s this week’s KG:
Another week, another new hobby. That’s right, I’m officially a yogi. Leeds Yoga society are running daily classes online so you can try out different types of yoga and embarrass yourself on zoom whilst doing it. Yin yoga is the top runner for me, it involves pillows and blankets – enough said really.
My current fave pose: Shavasana (corpse pose). You just lie still on the floor – bliss. I have not mastered any more advanced poses yet, but give me a few weeks and I’ll be one of those ripped, tanned girls doing yoga on the beach for my youtube channel. Like and subscribe xoxo
Back to biz
500g strong white flour (white bread flour)
55g caster sugar
40g unsalted butter
15g dried yeast
140ml cold water
140ml whole milk
250g cold unsalted butter
Pop flour, salt, sugar and dried yeast in a bowl and combine
make a well in the centre
Add in the milk and water and mix together until a dough forms
TOP TIP: you can smush it a bit to incorporate all the dry ingredients in but do not knead it!!! This will overwork the dough and make the folding tomorrow very hard.
Cover the bowl with cling film and whack it in the fridge for 8-12 hours (or overnight)
Take your dough out the fridge
Using your knuckles smush it into a rough square shape
With a rolling pin roll out each of the corners, leaving a raised square centre and 4 thin flaps/corners
get your butter out of the fridge
Bash it out with a rolling pin until it is a similar size to the raised dough square
Place your butter sheet on top of the raised dough square
Pull the bottom flap of dough to completely cover the butter
Pull the top flap of dough 80% over
Pull the side flaps across to the middle
What we have basically done here is wrap up our butter in the dough like wrapping up a parcel
with the seam running in the middle (the line where the side flaps meet) use your rolling pin to push down and create ridges in the dough (this makes it easier to roll)
Then roll out until a long rectangular shape (about 1/2 a rolling pin wide and 1 1/2 rolling pins long)
Fold the top of the dough over 2/3rds
Fold the remaining flap of dough over that (so you have a square of dough that is 3 layers thick)
This is called a fold! For croissants we will do 3 folds in total
TOP TIP: after the first fold keep the seam on the LEFT, this keeps all your folds in the same direction to give you nice layers
With the seam on the left, roll out your dough into a long rectangle again
Fold as you did before (top over 2/3rds, remaining flap on top of that so you have a 3 layered square ish shape)
Cover in cling film and put in the fridge to chillax for 1 hour (or more)
Once suitably relaxed, get it out and you guessed it roll into a long rectangle (remember seam on the left!!)
Fold as you did before – this is the 3rd and final fold!!! Nearly there now
cover again and put in the fridge to chill out for 3 hours (or more)
take the dough out, this time with the seam running HORIZONTALLY roll out until it is about 5mm thick
Cut triangles out of the dough (use 4 finger widths to keep them equal)
Stretch each triangle out by holding it up and running your other hand gently down it
Cut a small slit at the base of the triangle
Roll up from the base of the triangle until it forms a little croissant shape
Beat your egg and brush on top to make a nice golden glaze
Leave the croissants to rise in a warm place for 2 hours
Preheat your oven to 190C and (finally) whack in your croissants for 15 mins until nice and crispy
Get them out and scoff them all – it will be worth all the hard work I promise!
You made it to the end of that VERY long recipe, give yourself a pat on the back.
Thanks again everyone for all your continued support, comment any recipes you want to see next!
We’re taking it back to my baking roots – the birthday cake. When I had first properly got into baking about age 12, the fondant bday cake was my stomping ground. Now, fondant isn’t what all the trendy kids want (youths these days grrr), so instead we move over to buttercream cakes – tastier, but harder to make look semi-decent.
This is one of my first buttercream cakes and went a bit off the rails with it. Feelin like one of those edgy art people and off to get a very short fringe cut to fit my new persona. Honestly, just call me Bob Ross x
Before we move on, here’s this week’s KG…
I’m back in L town after TOO long. My cave is finally decorated (yes the nawti Mary Berry poster has made a return.) Despite all odds, my houseplants have survived their first week (hello Miss Greenfingers). I won’t do my washing until I have 1 sock and an age 12-13 T-shirt left. My housemates don’t hate me yet – give it another week girls 😉 and my diet has gone back to exclusively sour skittles and spag bol. IT’S. GOOD. TO. BE. BACK.
For the sponge:
340g caster sugar
340g self-raising flour
zest of 3 lemons
For the lemon syrup:
85g caster sugar
juice from 1 1/2 lemons
For the buttercream:
3 tbsps lemon curd
swiss meringue buttercream or Italian meringue buttercream (basic recipe link here, you will need 2 or 3x this recipe:)
We all love a naughty bit of lemon driz, and this recipe from my queen – Mazza Bazza – is absolutely spectacular.
I was trying out my new loaf tin for this bad boi (yes it was another B&M purchase before you ask) and now I think I’ve spiralled into a slightly worrying tin obsession. What will be next?!? Classic bundt tin, or maybe a fun willy shaped one??? Who knows x
Before we get into the citrussy goodness, time for some juicy kitchen goss…
6 years ago, the entire nation was busy filming themselves being drenched in iced water. Sometimes you’d stumble across a gem – ones where people’s tops fell down or they slipped – but most were just like mine: uncomfortable to watch.
Here I am, aged 14, sporting my Ed Sheeran T-shirt (my first concert which I attended with my dad.) Jeans cutting off circulation to my legs, alarmingly large eyebags. Is that a festival wristband you see? Oh no sir, that is a wristband from guide camp. The bun and full fringe, a strong and iconic look that I am SURE will make a come back very shortly. I was cool x
This vid may be cringe, but the ice bucket challenge did help to raise lots of monies for a great cause and is providing quality entertainment 6 years on, so we allow it x
Now I’m not normally a bread baker (mainly because you can’t gobble the mix as you go along) but this dough was superrrrr easy to make and actually turned out crispy n delish.
Before we get into the crumby biz, here’s this week’s kitchen goss…
Note to self: NEVER go on a first date to the beach. We were having the time of our lives splish splashing around in Newcastle when Vic’s GoPro captured some horrific/hilarious pics that have honestly made my self esteem PLUMMET.
Pictured: 2 girls, one looks scarily like Paul Chuckle, the other just looks bad.
Action shot ❤ Caitlin, the goggles are a look x
Wig slip x
Overall, I think everyone on the beach got second hand embarrassment from us, but we had a mint time (minus thinking I had frost bite because my toes went purple.) Can’t wait for next year, love you two weirdos so much xxx
Anyway enough of that, are you bready for action? Sorry I’ll stop now, that was really bad.