Posted in Biccies

Mini Egg Cookies

Not a paid partnership with mini eggs – I bloody wish it was 😦 Someone sponsor me pls I need some free samples to wrap up for Christmas prezzies.

These cookies are pretty delectable, and plus they’re a right CHONK so you won’t need to eat for the next 3-5 working days. Perfect for being stranded in the wilderness #beargrylls #isfit #youcan #explore #mywilderness #anytime

Right dunno what else to say atm except make the cookies they’re peng, here’s this week’s KG

Kitchen Goss

Been doing a big house clear out because I am so bored it has driven me to actually tidy up. Turns out I was a sucker for a self portrait back in the early 00s, being the Picasso that I am, they are scarily accurate.

Choose your warrior:

1) Wiggy McPigster: dead trim, yellow teeth and a 50cm head that will knock you out straight. Luscious lashes, gorgeous smile.

2) Tangerine Dream: what in the sunbed?!? voldemort nose, edgy girl willy wonka fringe. Smiling = forbidden. Eyebrows = on fleek (I’m going to bring that word back)

Also not to get all cringe but I found this cute pic of what I wanted to be when I grew up – mum I made it I’m gonna be a DAcToR x

Right enough now, get your mini eggs out and stop faffing around

Recipe adapted from our babe Jane https://www.janespatisserie.com/2018/03/08/mini-egg-cookies/

Ingredients

  • 300g plain flour
  • 1/2 tsp bicarbonate soda
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 100g light brown sugar
  • 100g granulated sugar
  • 115g melted butter
  • splash or two or three of vanilla extract
  • 3 90g bags of mini eggs (or more if you have 5 million pounds to spare)
  • some choccie chips – not going to lie I didn’t measure I just sprinkled in and ate the rest

Method

  • Stir your flour, bicarb and salt together
  • in another big boy bowl, chuck both your sugars, butter and vanilla in and give that a little mix (no not the band)
  • add your flour mix into this and stir together
  • beat the living daylights out of 2 of the mini eggs bags
  • stir these crushed bits into the dough mix
  • sprinkle in as many choccie chips as you please – go on treat yourself my love
  • grab little balls and plop them on a baking tray lined with baking paper
  • using your remaining bag of whole mini eggs, squish these nicely on the top to make the cookies look all pretty
  • bake for 12mins ish at 180C
  • let them cool and set up before you try and scoff them – I know what you’re like!!!

Righty ho well that’s me off. Have a lovely rest of the day my chickens. Lots of love, Han x x x

Posted in Savoury

Chicken Bakes (Greggs)

I come from a family of big Greggs fans (my sister even calling her sausage dog Gregg after their famous sausage roll), so people who don’t love a cheeky pastry treat give out major alarm bells.

the rat

With this recipe you can chef up your very own Greggs delight in your jimjams and dressing gown without even having to leave the house!

Because I’m a bit much I made my own puff pastry for this (recipe will be uploaded soonish), but if you want you can just to buy some to get the quick Greggs fix – I’ll allow it.

I didn’t get v good pics of them, but they were actually well nice so would recommend giving this one a go (if I do say so myself)

Kitchen Goss

It’s official, I’m down with the kidz. Yep, I have been sucked into the TikTok pit and my screen time is majorly suffering now. I actually feel like such a nan trying to work it, this vid took me no word of a lie HOURS to make and I was cringing myself out with the voice over, so no hate please.

Pls can someone who is a TikTok expert give me some coaching because I need to make it to the Hype House (is this even a thing anymore I can’t keep up?!?!?) Give us a cheeky follow @kitchen_goss to see some more incredible content, or alternatively just wait until I pop up on your fyp when I’m too famous 4 u x

original recipe: Greggs Chicken Bake | Baking Recipes | GoodtoKnow

Ingredients

  • 1 chicken breast
  • 100ml chicken stock
  • 1 tsp corn flour mixed with a bit of water
  • 1 tsp cream cheese (or more if you want it extra creamy)
  • a glug of double cream
  • salt and pepper to season
  • puff pastry (bought or made if you’re *extra*)
  • 1 egg

Method – made 3 large and in charge chicken bakes

  • chippety chop your chicken breast into small chonkz and cook until golden
  • add in the chicken stock, cornflour water thing, and the cream cheese
  • glug in your cream
  • season as you like and leave to cool
  • roll out your pastry and cut into Greggs sized rectangles
  • add your chicken sludge in the centre of one of the rectangles
  • Egg wash the edges of the pastry and add another rectangle of pastry on top
  • crimp it down with a fork
  • cut wavy lines in the top (this is the classic Greggs chicken bake sign, if you do anything else you’re wrong grr)
  • egg wash the top to make it golden n gorg
  • whack in the oven for 15-20 mins or until the little lovelies are golden brown and smelling delish
  • scran

And that’s all for today my little nuggets, sorry I’ve not been posting much lately, would like to say I’ve been doing work but I’ve just been on TikTok.

Luvs ya, Han, KG x x x

Posted in Cakes

Biscoff Cupcakes

Lotus Biscoff has had SUCH a glow up these past few years. It has gone from the classic ‘hairdresser biscuit’ to now even having its own spread (which is excellent if you’ve not tried it).

Thought it was about time I jumped on the hype and I’m super glad I did. These little morsels are prettyyyyy fineeeee.

Before we get to it, here’s what you came for…

Kitchen Goss

I decided I needed more than a ratty handmade quote to decorate my room at uni this year. There was only one place for the job. The holy ground: B&M Bargains.

Honestly that shop is a genuine spa day, I always come out feeling rejuvenated and ready crack on with my elaborate interior design ideas.

Here are 3 reasons why B&M is better than an actual spa retreat:

  1. At B&M you THINK you’re spending your life savings on cr*p, but get to the checkout and are pleasantly surprised. Whereas at a spa day you blow £200 to get naked and listen to whale music.
  2. At B&M nobody touches you with oily hands (except that one time…)
  3. At B&M you come out with loads of useless clutter. Spa day you leave oily and empty handed 😦

Thank you for coming to my TED talk x

Right enough chit chat, let’s get crackin.

I’ve adapted this recipe from Baking Mad by adding in the spices which gives biscoff its unique flavah. (https://www.bakingmad.com/recipes/cupcakes-muffins/cupcakes/biscoff-cupcakes) Thanks for the inspo!

Ingredients

  • CUPCAKES
  • 150g butter
  • 150g light brown sugar
  • 3 eggs
  • 150g self-raising flour
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp ground clove
  • 1/4 tsp all spice
  • BUTTERCREAM
  • 150g butter
  • 300g icing sugar
  • 175g biscoff spread
  • 2-3tbsp milk
  • DECOR
  • lotus biscuits
  • 20g lotus spread, melted
  • Edible glitter – optional if you’re boring

Method

  • Bang your oven on 180C
  • Beat the living daylights out of the butter and sugar
  • add in the eggs
  • fold in the flour, baking powder, cinnamon, clove, all spice and vanilla
  • plop into cupcake cases and bake for 20-25mins until golden n gorg
  • whilst those are chillin out, crack on with the buttercream
  • Beat the butter, icing sugar and biscoff spread together
  • add milk to thin out to a pipe-able consistency
  • Chuck the buttercream in a piping bag and pipe away
  • decorate with lotus biccies, melted spread and lots of edible glitter

And that’s it for today folks. Hope you enjoy these as much as I did.

If you’ve been a busy bee baking at home, send in a picture to my Instagram @bitches_that_bake for a once in a lifetime feature!!!

Lots of luv, BTB, Han xxx

Posted in Savoury

Crusty White Bread

Crusty bread from a crusty girl x

Now I’m not normally a bread baker (mainly because you can’t gobble the mix as you go along) but this dough was superrrrr easy to make and actually turned out crispy n delish.

Before we get into the crumby biz, here’s this week’s kitchen goss…

Kitchen Goss

Note to self: NEVER go on a first date to the beach. We were having the time of our lives splish splashing around in Newcastle when Vic’s GoPro captured some horrific/hilarious pics that have honestly made my self esteem PLUMMET.

Pictured: 2 girls, one looks scarily like Paul Chuckle, the other just looks bad.

Action shot ❤ Caitlin, the goggles are a look x

Wig slip x

Overall, I think everyone on the beach got second hand embarrassment from us, but we had a mint time (minus thinking I had frost bite because my toes went purple.) Can’t wait for next year, love you two weirdos so much xxx

Anyway enough of that, are you bready for action? Sorry I’ll stop now, that was really bad.

(recipe adapted from https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/blog/2016/01/01/no-knead-crusty-white-bread)

Ingredients

  • 450g plain flour
  • 350ml lukewarm water (slosh your finger in it, if you can’t keep your finger in for 15secs then it’s too hot)
  • 1/2 tbsp salt
  • 7g dried yeast

Method – makes 2 loaves (you can double the recipe but not sure why you’d want 4 loaves of bread x)

  • mix everything together until it forms a very sticky dough
  • BAM! The hard work is done
  • put it in a large & in charge bowl and cover with cling film
  • let rise at room temp for 2 hours
  • then put the bowl in the fridge for 1-7 days
  • This is where the flavour develops, the longer you leave it the tangier it gets
  • (I only left mine for 1 day because I was too impatient but it was still pengaleng)
  • when you’re ready to make the bread: get 2 baking trays lined with baking paper, and flour your surface
  • sprinkle the top of the dough with flour and grab a big chunk (about half of the dough)
  • plop it onto the floured surface and shape it into a rough blob
  • repeat for the other half of dough
  • put your balls of dough onto your lined baking trays
  • sift flour over the top
  • let come to room temperature for about 1 hour
  • Slash with a sharp knife a couple of times
  • preheat your oven to 210C and put a metal tray on the bottom of your oven (we will be putting water in this to create steam)
  • put your dough in the oven, and pour one mugful of boiling water into the hot metal tray
  • shut the door quickly – the steam is what makes a really crispy crust
  • bake for 25-30mins until golden and crisp
  • Gobble as soon as it is cool enough to do so x

And that’s it folks. Thanks again for all your continued support n dat, if you’ve not already followed my instagram I’d love it if you’d take a quick peep @bitches_that_bake

Lots of luv, Han (BTB xxx)

Posted in Savoury

Soft Pretzels

Salty, twisted, and a bit soft – no I’m not talking about your ex. These soft pretzels are super fun to make, and can be made salty or sweet (or both) depending what tickles your fancy.

These were another delight from my BakedIn box, and they did not disappoint. I won’t harp on about BakedIn again but they are mint (pls sponsor me xoxo).

Before we get into the twisty business, here is this week’s KG.

Continue reading “Soft Pretzels”